Day 3: Struggling

Things that were lovely about yesterday: we finished decorating the tree, and it looks lovely, if I say so myself. Ornaments that seem like good old childhood friends are all nestled into its piney-smelling branches, and the collection of Santa figurines and special Christmas candles is distributed along the mantle and around the living room.

My mother and I also got some Christmas shopping done, in a moderately efficient manner, despite both being rather out of practice at actually entering stores and choosing things to purchase, but what should have been a lovely mother-daughter afternoon was markedly overshadowed by the below Drama.

Things that were not lovely about yesterday: a parental argument about the vaccine booster. One unit is against. The other unit is vehemently for. I am also vehemently for, but I just do not have the mental or emotional energy to engage with the unit that is against. The unit that is for feels that having only two doses is equivalent to being unvaccinated (I do not feel I have enough expertise to reliably weigh in, but this statement seems unlikely to be completely true, at least to me). The unit that is for has now declared that the holidays are ruined. I declare that I am exhausted by this and really do not want to take on any of their negativity.

I deperately want this time at “home” with them to feel like a restorative retreat after this past year. A cozy time of family, feeling grateful that we still have each other after this insane year. At the moment, though, this doesn’t even feel like home. Is that growing up? Sigh.

Off to get some work done and try to scrape some holiday cheer out of my demotivated self somehow.

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