I just ordered my 2022 planner! Hooray! Per usual, i have left it late enough in my trip that it will be a nail-biter as to whether or not it makes it to me before I leave. If it doesn’t, I suppose I will just leave it in my mother’s capable hands to be brought to me when we likely meet in Paris sometime in January (for further grandmother apartment admin time). This would not be ideal, but I could cope. You know what I could definitely have done that would have improved this situation: made this planner last 13 months instead of 12 to give myself a little margin for when a similar thing probably happens next year. I did not do that, however, preferring to soldier on with my system of the past two years, which has also failed for both of them. Hope springs eternal that next year I will be on top of things and order my planner perhaps even before going to the US so that it will be waiting for me upon my arrival. Imagine!

Anyway. I hesitated long and hard over the cover, but I think I’m pleased with it in the end – it does not display the bright-eyed optimism of this time last year (nor yet the deeply ironic, in retrospect, advice to “radiate positivity” splashed across the cover of my 2020 planner) but I think it reflects where I am right now. Not in a very bright and shiny mood (though I have great hopes to return there), but in my good old favorite color (blue) and with little sparks of brightness and a nice theme word for the year. We shall see!

Meanwhile, yesterday was quite a productive day: I chugged through a good amount of administrative gunk and then forced myself out on a small walk even though it was starting to get dark and I did not particularly feel like it and there definitely wasn’t time for a solid long walk. Note to self: a small walk is still better than no walk. It is not an all-or-nothing prospect. To be fair, the walk was honestly not at all pleasant – I forgot my ear-cover headband (I hate hats) so my ears really hurt (a particular pain that I despise) and I also felt quite nauseous. Fun. The urge to just curl up and while away these hours/days/weeks (?) of nausea is really strong, since standing up and doing stuff seems to really make it worse, but surely it’s a good idea to force myself into at least a bit of walking? I’m going to try again today, but earlier so that I can at least benefit from full (although cloudy) daylight and hopefully slightly warmer temperatures. Will definitely bring my ear thing this time. I also want to start a yoga practice, since word on the street (by which I mean, Emily Oster’s Expecting Better) is that that helps with labor. Anything to help with labor. Good lord. I haven’t even commenced panicking about that yet, but I’m sure I will.

I’m also officially 6 weeks pregnant today (says the due date calculator when I enter my LMP date). So perhaps not officially. Apparently this is when it would be possible to hear the baby’s heart beat, if I had an ultrasound scheduled yet. I do have a gyno appointment scheduled for January 21st, but in theory it was to investigate why we weren’t getting pregnant! And also to evaluate a gynecologist, since I don’t really have one in Italy. I suppose I should call them back and inform them of the change in situation? Also, how on earth do you choose a person for prenatal care? Like… what if I don’t like her? Then I have to search out another one but by then it will basically already be the next trimester? Yikes. Anyway.

I’m also hesitating over telling my parents. I’d like to tell them in person, so while I’m here. Maybe today is a good day because it’s officially six weeks? Or I could wait until New Year’s Eve because that could be fun? But then we wouldn’t have many days left together to talk it over (I feel like I will want some, with my mom.) Hm. We shall see how the day works out.